13 Things Any Parent Can Do to Help Their Child Learn

There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to learning. Every parent can learn new and different ways to become a better first teacher for their child. And it doesn’t have to be stressful. Here are some tried and true strategies, based on research and our experience as teachers and doctors, to help you engage with your child and help them learn in a joyful way.

1. Observe and Listen to Follow Your Child’s Lead

Becoming a sharp listener and a keen observer of your child will give you lots of good information to know how to best support their learning. Observing and listening is essential to recognizing your child’s specific interests (to provide direction for learning), issues (such as needing their bottle or a nap), or concerns (such as wanting a favorite toy or having a conflict with another child). When you follow your child’s lead, they feel heard and understood and become much more interested and motivated to learn. Think of it like being a detective - searching for clues about how your child feels and what makes them tick.

2. Make Learning Fun

Parents everywhere are fed up with being in conflict with their children over their learning. It doesn’t have to be this way. As a parent, your goal should be to keep growing their natural desire to learn by making it fun, joyful and meaningful. A good way to gauge this is to ask yourself three questions: “Is this meaningful to my child?” “Are we doing this in a joyful manner?” “Is there a way to make this fun?” If your answer to any of these is “no”, that’s a clear sign to stop what you are doing and change directions. You can always come back to the activity another day, and in a new way! Try to make it fun, in order to get it done!

3. Invite Your Child’s Active Participation

Young children learn best through active play that includes exploration and discovery. They need to use their senses, emotions, minds and bodies to learn. Invite your child to be an active learner by engaging all of these areas yourself in your interactions with your child. For example, when baking brownies together, you can notice the smell, taste, color, steps and tasks involved such as stirring and pouring, or even share a story or memory as you bake. When you mirror being “all in”, your child will be more engaged and interested in whatever you’re doing. Allow for lots of wiggles and giggles along the way!

4. Engage Your Child in “Conversations”

As you spend time with your child, whether on a walk, driving in the car, or changing her diaper, a powerful way to help her learn is to engage her in conversations at every opportunity. Remember that this involves as much paying attention and listening as it does talking. And it doesn’t matter how old your child is - even babies can have “conversations” as they mimic your facial expressions and the sounds you make. The confidence and ability to communicate well and to successfully interact with others, are two of the most essential life skills you can pass on to your child from day one. Help her to know that her voice matters and that her words and actions make things happen.

5. Pause for “Wonder Moments…”

With the use of technology, we are all losing our sense of wonder about the real world around us. Both adults and children seem to always be paying attention to our devices and rushing from one thing to the other. This doesn’t have to be the case. Young children are most interested in interacting with people who love them and who encourage their curiosity, which is the spark that leads to discovery and learning. For instance, when you’re walking with your child, you can choose to take the time to notice the details along the way together: the ant passing by, the dandelion growing, the bird in the tree. This may not always be possible, and it can be frustrating if you’re in a hurry. But if you are intentional about taking the time, these can be valuable moments for learning. Stop and ask “What are you looking at? What do you notice?” and share in the moment of wonder with your child. This is what makes parenting beautiful: seeing the world from your child’s perspective and rekindling your own sense of awe and wonder.

6. Focus on the Process Rather Than the End Product

Real learning is not about the end product. It’s about the process of exploring and making many small discoveries in various contexts all along the way that leads to true understanding, whether a baby is experiencing a new food with all their senses, a toddler is exploring emptying and filling a container with water at bath time, or a preschooler building with blocks. While many parents will focus on the end result – a completed meal, a finished bath, or even a tall tower of blocks – try focusing your efforts on the process of learning through which your child is reaching his goal: notice how he carefully looks at, feels and tastes each piece of food, his excited facial expressions at seeing water fill the container, or how determined she is to balance each block carefully. End results will always impress, but it’s in the process that real learning takes place.

7. Ask Questions That Encourage Your Child’s Thinking

We all ask questions, but all questions are not the same. Questions that encourage thinking are open-ended and have more than a “yes” or “no” response or a single right answer. Good questions encourage your child to do most of the thinking that leads to learning. These often begin with:

“I wonder…”

“What if…”

“What do you think about….”

“How do you feel about….”

“What are you noticing about….”

These questions encourage your child to be thoughtful and expressive about his feelings, observations and ideas, communicate that he is capable of thinking deeply about things, and affirm that his thoughts are valued. A good question makes everyone think.

8. Be the “Scaffolding” For Your Child’s Learning

Just like scaffolding is set up against a building for workers to repair or clean, you can come alongside your child and “scaffold” his learning as you listen and observe! This includes noticing, giving new information to expand knowledge, asking inviting questions to encourage discovery and learning. For example, when a child points to a ball and says “Ba”, the parent might say “You see your ball. (noticing) It’s a red ball. (new information)” The parent might then pick up the ball, roll it and say: “Look at that! It rolls!… (new information). Do you want to try rolling your ball? Let’s roll it back and forth together! (inviting question)” . With practice, you will become better skilled at knowing how and when to scaffold to support your child’s learning. Your child is the builder, you are their support.

9. Let Your Child Figure It Out

Even when health and safety are not an issue, it can be difficult to watch your child struggle with something and not jump to their rescue: we want to flip a puzzle shape around for her so that it fits correctly in its space, or find her other shoe when she doesn’t see it right away. We know this can require a lot of patience, but it’s in the struggle – the productive struggle – where learning, satisfaction, and self-affirmation happens, and a growth mindset develops. Productive struggle leads to exercising creativity, problem solving and flexible thinking. It is important even for babies as they learn to pick up their heads during tummy time, or reach for an object that is just beyond their reach. Every child needs to be equipped with this important mindset

to become a confident and independent learner. Your child needs to know that he can figure out some things without your direct help.

10. Learning Takes Time

We live in such a fast-paced world and yet learning, especially in the early years, cannot be rushed! Remember, it’s about the process! Anything that is worth it always requires some amount of time – a delicious dinner, a work of art, running a marathon. Children are no different – they too need time to engage fully in their work. When planning an activity with your child, be sure to plan for plenty of time to complete it, or to come to a stopping point rather than rush them through it. If your child is about to engage in an activity that will require some time, such as painting, or building a structure with blocks, and if you know your schedule will not allow it, you might suggest he wait to begin until you have more time later in the day or the next day.

Slow down and give your child the gift of time.

11. Plan Some Down Time Every Day

Research tells us that being involved in too many activities is not good for young children. And over-planning a young child’s day will take a toll on him physically and emotionally. Make sure he has plenty of “down” time in his day, every day, and not just nap time. This may involve choosing which toys to play with or which books to look through on their own and giving them a chance to slow down and spend a little time safely on their own. During the COVID-19 pandemic, instead of outside activities, many parents are feeling pressure to engage in a lot of planned schoolwork. Remember, learning happens best when children are unhurried. Feel empowered to guard your child’s time.

12. It’s the Time and Effort, Not the Smarts

Sometimes we think people are just born smart. However, it’s the time and effort your child puts into his learning, with your encouragement and support, that will lead to confidence and motivation to learn. Pointing out specific instances when you notice your child is working hard at something is much more effective than giving generic praise such as “Good job!” For example: “You kept trying and trying different blocks to see which one would fit in that space just right, but you didn’t give up and then finally you did it - you found just the right block!” As the saying goes, “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”

13. Take Advantage of Teachable Moments Every Day

Some of the best learning happens in unplanned moments. Be spontaneous and take advantage of learning opportunities with your child as they present themselves, whether doing the laundry, cooking or putting away groceries. This requires slowing down, listening and paying close attention to what your child is noticing and/or saying and what is happening around them and then responding in a way that encourages thinking and discovery. It may not be something you had originally planned, but as you become aware of opportunities for teachable moments, we hope you will come to embrace a bit of “unexpected” learning with your child every day!

“Little detours” can lead to the most joyous and memorable moments!

Think of these responsive parenting interactions as your tool box that will help you be successful as your child’s teacher. You will use them over and over again as you engage in the activities we recommend on this site, in our in-person sessions and in our soon-to-be-released book, Give Your Child a Promising Start!